Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
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