So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
This is the prime rib incident all over again
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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