is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
