so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Found the puke drawer
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize