Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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