what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Randomize
