just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Randomize
