never play flip cup with pint glasses
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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