Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
