The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
Randomize