plz talk dirty to me
I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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