Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
