I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
i think i just lost a toe
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
Randomize
