Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
