I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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