dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
