I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
and she was petting her beer can
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
Randomize
