I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
