batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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