i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
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