Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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