the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
