I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
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