And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
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