I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
