Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
So vagazzling was a success
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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