question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
