I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
Randomize