If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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