i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
