she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
Randomize
