i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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