She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
He had one of those small greek statue penises
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
