Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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