Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
