I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
Randomize
