just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
