I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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