I accidentally burped into my bong.
I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
