everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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