CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
