Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
