Me too!
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Randomize
