david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
