Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
look no pants
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
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