Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
