I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
