I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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