is it really this hard to find a guy i can fuck and have a good time with who doesn't ask where things are going btwn us?
you sound like my dream girl
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
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