**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
