So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Randomize
