I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
We don't watch enough power rangers
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
