so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize