THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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