ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
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