It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
