i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
