I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
