well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
