I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
