how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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