I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
