we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
