she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
