the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Randomize
