You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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