stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
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