Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
