I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
