A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
