i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
