That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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