So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
Randomize
