Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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