Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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